Screams

Can I scream? I have been doing that in the inside of my ruptured mind. You hurt me too. More severely that all of them. I cry but you know, the sobs won't be heard, the hurt won't show. Only songs and quotes and photographs would convey my silent weeping heart. I love you like no one else. I imagined a life with you, full of blue skies with colourful balloons, night skies like wallpapers in the bedroom, black and white sketches with splotches of paint, oreo cookies and milkshakes, laughs unlimited resonating on slippery misty-mountain tops.

no love no glory

It's a shorter story, no love no glory. Forgotten post the moment of madness, replayed over and over again in the corners of my mind. Thoughts are such random beings, they come and go. But the one that really stays for too long matters the most. Or maybe it troubles you the most. But it's so hard to get rid of it. 

Why did I do it? I don't know. I have no answer. the troublemaker and the soother, both are my friends. I am the elusive one, the betrayer, the cunning fox, the bounty hunter and the lonesome observer.So many classified secrets that sometimes I wonder -- if I break, will I spill it all? 

No, I can't keep on doing this. I need to find a way from this trepidation. It's killing me over. Why am I such a loser in love? Attracting the wrong kind of men, attracting the wrong kind of advances. Cunning wolves were always attracted to bitches,  more than dogs.